Romance in Recovery
Romance and recovery are not always harmonious. Whether you, as a newly recovering person, are trying to salvage an existing relationship or investing time and energy in a new opportunity – it can be a very slippery slope leading to a painful fall. Failed relationships are a primary cause of relapse.
Behaviors in active addiction are detrimental not only to you as the alcohol/addict but to those around you who have tried to be supportive. They have experienced a full range of emotions – anger, hurt, embarrassment, fear, mistrust and uncertainty. Through it all, the love can remain but the persistent emotional battering and disappointment can be a powerful deterrent to staying in the relationship. Once out of treatment, it is not uncommon for the alcoholic/addict to say “Let’s forget about the past and just move on.” This is not so easy for the others involved.
It may seem easier and more logical to start a new relationship. You are feeling good physically and emotionally – you’ve conquered your addiction and want the normal things in life that others have. “I’m going to meet someone, form a relationship and have a normal life.” To be fair to all involved, you need to ask yourself some tough questions – Do you know what normal is? Have you ever had a successful relationship while sober? What kind of stability do you have personally? What can you add to a relationship at this time?
Unless you have some recovery stability, you really don’t have much to offer another person. In order to flourish, a relationship needs both parties to be healthy enough to provide a setting that encourages ongoing stability and growth – both independently and cohesively.