Alcoholics and Lying: Causes, Signs to Watch For, and How to Help

A shared trait among people suffering from alcohol addiction is a tendency to lie or be dishonest about their drinking.

Such dishonesty usually stems from denial, shame, or fear of judgment and consequences. Individuals may minimize how much they drink, make frequent excuses, or outright deny their alcohol consumption to avoid confrontation or to maintain their addiction.

This article takes a closer look at this behavior to help loved ones understand the link between alcoholics and lying.

Why Do People Suffering From Alcohol Addiction Lie?

People suffering from alcohol use disorder lie for many of the same reasons as those struggling with other forms of addiction. These include:

Shame and Guilt

Among the most common reasons people who struggle with alcoholism lie is due to the shame and guilt they feel from their dependency.

Alcoholism isn’t a habit people are proud of, and many go to great lengths to hide the extent of their drinking problem. They may lie to avoid disappointing loved ones, to escape judgment, or to cover up feelings of unworthiness and self-disgust.

Denial

Many who struggle with alcoholism aren’t ready to face the severity of the addiction. By downplaying how much they drink or denying the consequences of their behavior, they can convince themselves that it’s “not that bad” or that they can “quit anytime.”

Denial is one of the most common traits found in people with alcohol addiction, so much so that overcoming it is a key focus in the 12-step recovery program.

Fear of Consequences

By lying about their alcohol use, people suffering from alcohol addiction may escape the negative consequences associated with it.

Alcoholism is looked down upon in many communities, and the stigma attached to it can lead to reputational damage. They might be afraid of losing their jobs, their relationships, or facing legal problems. Lying is an easy way to avoid these consequences.

Desire to Keep Drinking

People struggling with alcohol addiction are driven by the need to keep drinking alcohol, even at the cost of their health.

If they admit that they have a problem, their loved ones might force them to stop drinking. Therefore, they lie to protect their addiction.

This reason is prevalent in people who depend on others for an allowance, since they don’t have money to buy alcohol themselves.

To Shift Blame

A common aspect of denial is not taking responsibility for your own actions.

Sometimes, a person with alcohol addiction may blame others for their problems or drinking habits. They might say things like “If my job wasn’t so stressful,” or “My friends make me drink,” implying that outside those factors, they wouldn’t have a problem.

In reality, they’re just making excuses to convince others that their alcohol use is due to circumstance.

To Hide a Relapse

Relapse is a common aspect of the recovery process, with 40% to 60% of people relapsing at some point in their alcohol addiction treatment. However, many people consider a relapse a failure on their end. Out of fear of disappointing and losing the respect of their loved ones and the recovery community, they may hide the truth of their relapse.

How to Tell a Person Is Lying About Alcohol Use?

Some people hide their drinking habits better than others, making it difficult to know when they’re being dishonest about their addiction. However, certain signs may indicate someone is lying about their alcohol use. These include:

• Secretive behavior, such as hiding bottles or drinking alone
• Avoiding questions about their alcohol use or changing the subject quickly
• Sudden mood swings or irritability without a clear cause
• Denying or minimizing the amount of alcohol they consume despite obvious signs like the smell of alcohol, bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, or lack of coordination
• Making excuses for their behavior or avoiding social occasions to conceal drinking
• Inconsistent lies about what they’re doing, where they were, and who they’re with because they have trouble remembering details or keeping their lies straight
• Constructing a false reality about their drinking habits like claiming they can stop anytime even if there’s evidence to the contrary
• Denying the harm alcohol use causes to themselves and others, despite evidence suggesting the opposite
• Getting defensive or angry when questioned about alcohol misuse
• Using mouthwash, mints, or chewing gum frequently to mask the smell of alcohol
• Regularly hanging out with people who are known heavy drinkers
• Neglecting responsibilities in a way that seems out of place (e.g., forgetting to pay bills in time despite not having issues with payment before)
• Isolating themselves to drink in private or avoid being questioned

How to Help a Person Suffering from Alcohol Addiction

It’s important to realize that alcohol addiction is a disease. It changes how the brain works, creating a strong physical and psychological need for alcohol. Withdrawal symptoms, cravings, and changes in brain chemistry make quitting very difficult without help.

Blaming a person for their addiction isn’t helpful and may further prevent them from seeking help. Here’s what you should do instead:

Offer Compassion

Instead of judgment, approach your loved one with compassion and empathy. Don’t criticize the decisions that led them to this point as it may further drive them into denial. Listen without interrupting, acknowledge their feelings, and let them know you care about their well-being.

Don’t Enable Their Behavior

Understanding doesn’t mean ignoring that they have an addiction. Don’t make excuses for them, give them money to buy alcohol, or cover up for their mistakes as this can make the problem worse and send the wrong message. You don’t want them to feel like they can do anything without consequences.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Determine what behavior is unacceptable to you, then set the consequences for when that boundary is crossed.

Boundaries can include no drinking in the house, no yelling or name-calling, or respecting agreed-upon curfews.

If they break your boundaries, follow through with the consequences to show that their actions have real results.

A common consequence is creating distance between yourself and the person suffering from alcohol abuse. Another is to limit their allowance or cover expenses that might enable their drinking.

Suggest Professional Help

Stopping an addiction through willpower alone is extremely difficult and, for some people, impossible. Many require professional healthcare to safely manage withdrawal symptoms, develop coping strategies, and address the underlying causes of their addiction.

You can’t force a person to get help, but you can push them in the right direction. Provide them with a comprehensive list of resources to look into and remind them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Addiction facilities like Recreate Behavioral Health offer specialized treatment programs specifically catered to those struggling with alcohol addiction, making them a good place to start.

Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can support you or your loved one on the path to recovery.

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